Dating for the chronically ill
"And lets face it, depending on what [the illness] is, it could very well make you uncompetitive in the larger dating pool." Fortunately, there are a number of alternatives.A new breed of dating site has emerged to play cupid for people with chronic diseases and disabilities.Sharing too soon may scare the person off and sharing too late may lead to a lack of trust.Amber Miller, a 26-year-old college student in Oklahoma City, was waiting to tell Josh about her type one diabetes. So when he didn’t hear from her for a month while she was recovering from a diabetic coma, he expected the worst.“Josh thought I broke up with him because none of my family told him about the coma and he didn’t hear from me for a month,” Miller said.Let's face it: How do you drop that bomb on a potential love interest? She considered a number of online dating venues, but she says asked too many questions on its enrollment form, e Harmony was too "religious," and My Space was too much of a "hookup zone." "I wanted to meet men with my same diagnosis so we wouldnt [need to] have 'the talk,' or fear of rejection and transmitting," she says.“Most of us with this don't wish to spread it.” Despiteor perhaps because ofthe economic downturn, the billion-dollar online dating industry has been booming. While sites like and e Harmony don't discriminate, they also don't cater to people like Lana who are coping with sexually transmitted diseases, disabilities, or mental health conditions.According to a report published by the National Health Council, nearly half of Americans have at least one chronic illness, with that number expected to grow in coming years.
If men who are total assholes about nudism and folk songs see her profile proclaiming this both so boldly and so clearly: they don’t message her.
Or they message her things like “PUT ON SOME CLOTHES, YOU HOMELESS HEATHEN” or “CAT STEVENS CAN SUCK IT, YOU HIPPIE.” You may want to try a similar strategy.
Whether you’re a profile on a dating site, or you’re chatting up a guy/girl on Facebook–make sure to drop the bomb before the first date. Why is it good to break the news online or even over the phone?
If they don’t want to go out with you after learning you have Crohn’s, Lupus, whatever–then that’s that. You have to be understanding of people when it comes to your chronic disease.
Understand that their first reaction probably will be “what the fuck? People can sense your uneasiness about your disease.